Rhinestone Armadillo

Bad Idea

I've been out of town for the 4th of July holiday.  It was fun, but I'm bushed.  I need a vacation from my vacation.

Wow...this just seems like a bad idea.

"I share my home with eleven cats," says South African Riana Van Niewenhuezen.  "Four cheetas, five lions, and two tigers."
Yes....I love cats.  Yes.....I love going to the zoo to see the big cats.  Yes....like other cat-lovers, I've always thought, Oooh....how fun to actually pet a lion."  But come on------you just don't have eleven jungle-sized cats running around a human-sized home.  If nothing else, the cat box logistics are a nightmare.

This scares the heck out of me.  What happens when you don't immediately give kitty the tuna sandwich?  Does he shove your head in the garbage disposal with their ginormous paws?  Do they poop in your sink?  And what do you do to tell the humongous cheetah to get down off the counter?  I use a spray bottle for my cat....do they have a mega-sized water gun?  Or maybe a fire extinguisher?

Given how possessive animals can be about their food, doesn't this seem stupid?  Putting a cat bowl in the middle of your card game seems crazy.  Didn't we learn anything from that lady who kept a chimpanzee in her house last year?  It attacked a friend and ripped off most of her face, and the woman is permanently blind and disfigured.  This just seems so irresponsible.

Even well-behaved pets have little skirmishes.  Don't come crying to me when your dogs become midnight snacks.  Weren't eleven cats enough, by the way?  Do you really want to add more pets to the mix?  The smell in that house must be wretched.

Babylegs

(not my baby)
It's Knitting Club day at the library.  I'll be working on getting a pair of Babylegs started.

 
(not my baby, but I'd happily nab that chair)
They're cute little legwarmers that make diaper changes a LOT easier during chilly months.  Oh-wouldn't you just LOVE to have a giant ball of yarn like this?  Where the heck would you put it, though?  I always wanted one of those gigantic balls of rubber bands.  Or twine.  I'm impractical like that.

(no idea where this image came from....if you know I'll credit it)
Some people think it's crazy to knit in the middle of the summer.  However, I find knitting so soothing and fun I want to knit all year long.  Also, when it gets cold, it's nice to be almost done with a sweater or another cool-weather project.
 
I'm not done with my sundress yet, but I'm working on it.  Linings are hard.  For me, anyway.  More on that later.  Have a great Friday.  My husband's off work---I didn't realize that until just now.  What a nice surprise!

Ugly is the new pretty

No one is going to convince me that gladiator sandals are cool.  They look like something my parents forced me to wear when I was about two.  Nothing like this should touch your feet unless you're just learning to walk.  I don't even think that's a very good excuse.

Normally, I really like Anthropologie, but they've gone off the deep end with some (just some, I said) of their shoes.  I guess ugly is the new pretty.  The pair below are named "Fisherwoman Sandals", for the love of Pete.  Nothing more glamorous than some peasant sloshing through the shallows reeking of perch, hmmm??

 

And whichever anorexic twin this is.....enough already.  Your boots look like they were eaten through by acid thrown at you by an angry fan.  And WHY are you always making 'that' face?  Are you sucking on a lemon sour?  And how do you manage to always look at the cameras dead on?  Do you stay up at night practicing that instead of eating?

Ugh.  So painful to look at.  They shorten the line of your leg, they looks like they'd give you instant blisters, and well....just YUCK.    I find the flat, ankle-high variety to be the worst offender.

Lindsay Lohan....what are you WEARING?  And are you carrying a black lawn garbage bag?  That cap and grandma's glasses from the 80s look is not working.  Is she wearing two sheets cut up by her drunken friends then thrown over her head in a devil-may-care way?  The shoes are actually the least offensive part of the ensemble.

OK.....everyone else seems to love them.  I guess it's lonely old me that hates them.  So forgive me if you're wearing gladiator sandals right now.

Ranger Rick had an accident

Do y'all remember Ranger Rick?  It was a nature magazine for kids, with a raccoon mascot.  I was always so excited to get that magazine in our mailbox.
Have I mentioned that my husband always wanted a raccoon cap?

And did I also mention that he wanted to make it himself so that the little paws and head would still be attached to the hat?  He did NOT kill this animal---it was roadkill. (I know.)  He came home one day while I was cooking dinner and said, "I can't be delayed....I have to hurry up and go get this raccoon that was just run over."  He left while I was still chopping tomatoes thinking, "What???"

He put the poor wee beastie in a few garbage bags and it has been living in my freezer for 3 months.  Yes, my freezer.  That we put people food in.  I forgot about it at one point and was looking for some steak I had frozen and opened the bag and got a nasty surprise.  Did I mention that's my favorite knife in the above photo?  I was none too pleased about that.
Adam had never skinned anything before, so he looked up directions on the internet.  There were all sorts of weird directions on home taxidermy from 'spray out the flesh in a heavy powered car wash' to 'rub the animal's brain over the skinned hide'.  I'm not even going to tell you what he ended up doing.  All I can say is that at one point, he was pulling off its sad furry skin over its own arms and head like he was taking its t-shirt off.
I'm not sure how he even managed to preserve its teeth.  Shouldn't those have stayed in the skull?
Now we wait for it to 'tan', I guess.  It smells funny.

Adam keeps saying, "If I can find three more raccoons, I could make a pair of gloves where each finger has a complete hand on it!"
So now I am always pointing in the opposite direction saying, "Oh look, honey, there's a hawk with a snake in its mouth." on the lookout for freshly run-over raccoons.

Sketch Swap

Oh, boy! Sketch Swap is fun.

You have a drawing board to play on, you whip up a little sketch, then you send it out into the universe, then you receive a drawing back.  Isn't that spiffy?

2nd Annual Mad Tea Party

Oooooh!  It's finally here....the 2nd Annual Mad Tea Party!!!
This is such a fun event hosted by Vanessa at A Fanciful Twist.  Go visit her today for some crazy party wonderfulness.
Wait!  What's that?  Do you hear something????

A buzzing, sort of fluttery little noise?

That's not a bird.....

...not a plane....

Is it??? Is it our missing tea party guest?  The White Rabbit has been tapping his paw, and the Mad Hatter has been looking in teacups and under cupcakes all morning long.

It is!  It's the Dormouse!!!  He slept late---again.

No need to worry--his team of trusty butterflies will have him there in a jiffy. 

Slow down butterflies, slow down! 
Oh DARN IT-he overshot the runway. Turn around, Dormouse!

There you go.  Watch out for that branch!

Whew...there you go.  Try it again.

Here comes the runway of teacups and saucers.  Careful, Dormouse, careful!

Landing completed!  Now the Dormouse is going to find some punch, have a cupcake, then curl up in a teapot somewhere for a nice long nap.
The Dormouse and his teapot carriage pulled by butterflies is up for auction on eBay. Click here if you'd like to bid and have him fly to your house soon.

Michael Jackson (and don't forget Farrah)

Rest in peace, Michael.  (1958-2009)

You led such an unusual life.  You were sort of bizarrely odd, actually.  However, I'm guessing being famous since you were 5 in a 'millions of fans screaming and fainting and trying to steal your hair' sort of way could make anyone a little batty.

I remember being CRAZY about Michael Jackson when I was young---maybe 8 or 9.  We ALL were.  I don't remember anyone who didn't adore him.  My mother made me a sequined glove like his that I wore to school.  'Cause I was just THAT cool.
(Also...how nice of my mother.  What a PAIN that must have been to meticulously sew individual sequins onto a glove.)

And let's not forget Farrah Fawcett. (1947-2009)  Who didn't like Charlie's Angels? 

And gosh---Ed McMahon, too. (1923-2009)   I always felt bad for the guy.  Who wants to be the world's most famous sidekick?  Maybe he did.

Tutus for a friend

I visited an old friend at my past family reunion, and had the opportunity to meet her two beautiful granddaughters.  I decided they needed some extra frilly girly things.  Not that they don't already have them, but who doesn't like getting a tutu in the mail?

There is a Tutu-tutorial over at Mama Doodles.  I make mine a little differently.  I make a shorter trip of tulle since I'm making this for a very small girl.  I guess you could make the tutorial's tutu for a tiny kid, it would just be long.  She could grow into it.  I just prefer a shorter, stand-out-ier one.
I'm calling this one a 'Mermaid Tutu' since it's summer and the netting has sparkles in it befitting a Sea Princess.  You can't see them in the photo, but they're THERE, darn it!  I think this would be adorable worn over a bathing suit.  Can't you just see a little mermaid prancing through the sprinklers?

...and matching 'little sister mermaid' headband.  Crud.  Does that look like a bit fluffy moster eyeball?  I wanted to use some of the great vintage buttons Marcia gave me.  Now that I see it, though, I'm afraid it looks like a monster headband.  Oh well.  Maybe it's a Cyclops Mermaid Headband.  They have those under the sea too, don't they?

I want to learn to make a pair of THESE! (These are from Pink Taffy Baby.)

Ooooh!  I just found PettiskirtStyle.com---what frilly goodness.  Isn't that CUTE? Pettiskirts are tons more work than a tutu, but I think I'll learn 'cause all that extra froth is WORTH it!

These are special, no?  Shoot---I'm tempted to have a matching mother-daughter pair.  This has the beginnings of a great black standard poodle costume, doesn't it?  Ohhh....Halloween, here we come!

Or a pink poodle?

Have you guys started your Halloween costumes yet?  I was talking to my friend Camille last week---here daughter is one month older than Miss Baby.  Anyhoo--we decided that the whole reason we HAD children was to make Halloween costumes. 

So we had better get to work!

Post Birthday, 3

Birthday bootie!!!! Or is that booty?  Either way, I thought I’d share some of my favorite things.  I am not a gimme gimme gimme gift person.  However, I DO seem to be extremely fortunate in that I have friends who think I'm fun to shop for.  So THANK you, everyone!  I feel so lucky whever I get a big special package in the mailbox.
  My friend Amy might have been a North Pole Elf in her previous life.  She always picks out perfect, funny, and touching gifts.  They're the kind of things that I would buy for myself if I was buying myself a gift.  But I don't, so they're things I just see and say, "Ooooh...neato!"

I like my black polka dot bombshell-y dress, and DIG that apron with the half-nude cowboys on it!!!! I think I'll wear that out of the kitchen, too.  Perhaps to Walmart?  And I simply cannot get enough of Anne Taintor's product line.  She's a genius.
My Aunt Roxie sent me some fantastic Wonder Woman hologram things and matching pens.  My brother-in-law sent me a funny Hannah Montana card.  Wacky.

 

My favorite Amy Gift was the tampon case.  Isn’t that a riot?  I love tough retro Vinny with his unibrow and knuckle tats….TAMP CASE.  Such tacky goodness.  Note I claimed ownership right away, lest someone find it and not return it to me.  I’d better stick my phone number on there too, huh?

 

We went to see Star Trek: Origins.  I wanted to see it opening weekend, but we had 'what to do with the baby'?' issues.  I guess we avoided a swarm of trekkies, too.  I'm a closet Trekkie.  You have to keep that sort of thing quiet.  Miss Baby came with us to dinner and a movie, and she was an angel.  She didn't make a peep all night.

Is the kid who played little Spock the kid from "Weeds"?  

I thought the movie was good.  Not great, but good.  Maybe 4 stars out of 5.  3 3/4 stars, perhaps.  I was disappointed that they took two actors as good looking as Chris Pine and Zachary Quinto and Eric Bana (yeah, I know-he was a bad guy) and managed to make them look ho-hum.  But maybe that's just me.  It's hard to rock the Vulcan hair, I'm sure.

It was a wonderful birthday.  It was a great way to start my next year.

Post Birthday, 2

 

I think I’ll break this into several posts.  I’m scared the Typepad Boogie Man will sneak up and erase my posts again. 

 

It's my harp!  My lovely harp!  I've had one lesson now, from a sweet harpist who is also named Laura.  I called Allison Read, the harpist for the Dallas Symphony, and she recommended Laura, who lives closer to me and has taken lessons from her for 12 years.  Obviously, I'm not very good yet, but it's fun!  The harp sounds so heavenly.  It's such a beautiful sound. 

 

I did a big pile of nesty (That’s nEsty, not nAsty, so no jokes)  hair on top of my head.  I pulled up a little behind my ears, and a bunch from the top, then made a high ponytail.  I attached one of the fake hair-pieces to the ponytail, then wrapped my real ponytail around that, making a sort of nest. Then I added sparkly things.  

I was curious---do you think my hair looks purple?  I dyed it a few days ago, and I’m scared it’s looking eggplanty.  I want chocolatey, not auberginey.

 

Bad news.  There's only one little bird left. That was a morbid birthday discovery.